Em's Dailies..

We can endure life’s wrongs because we know that God will make all things right.... Unlike David, we often want to silence our critics, insist on fairness, and defend ourselves. But as we grow in our awareness of God’s protective love, we become less concerned with what others say about us and more willing to entrust ourselves to our Father. Like David, we can say of each critic, "Let him alone, and let him curse" (2 Samuel 16:11). This is humble submission to God’s will.




Have you ever felt so hopeless, your load is just too heavy and there is nobody to share it with. And no matter how much you try to be objective, no matter how much to tell yourself 'happiness is something you decide ahead of time', there are these people that are just so damn good at making you feel helpless.

I thought I was a good Project Manager. I've always delivered. I've always managed the project, the people and the circumstances very well.

Truth ~ this is an exhausting job, physically and emotionally. One has to be strong enough to make tough decisions, daring enough to take risks and to be realistic enough to know the boundaries and constraints that could be compromised to achieve the ultimate goal.

It's a tough job, but I love being Project Manager, because it gives me opportunity to reach out to people, to view things from a different perspective. Sure, I have to take responsibility for all actions done by my team, whether good or bad. I have to be the strongest person. I need to stir the wheel when storm attacks. I have to provide direction. I am not just a leader, but an Ate and a Mommy as well.

But what I love most is the satisfaction I get from working with my team. Seeing them grow day by day, and the challenge of helping them discover their paths, and build them up to their career goals. I've been so successful in this aspect. I've zoomed past a lot of people in different organizations that's why I am what I am now. And when I manage these people, I look at them and try to share the same dream.

But I'm human as well. Sometimes I lack patience, sometimes I get angry, I nag, I also have my moods. Those are my shortcomings.

But to be accused of destroying and putting down my team's morale is too much for me. It's breaking my heart. I cannot accept it. Call me bitch if you want to I don't care. But never accuse me of passing the blame on my team. I've worked so hard to put this team together, I've worked so hard to make this project work. I've sacrificed my personal life because I dedicate myself to this project and the people who work for this.

Why? Because we dreamed together that we will release this project. Because we had laughs together. Because we went through a hell lot of heartaches together. Eveything in this project is personal to me my heart is breaking...because of politics.

As I write my heartaches, Eleanor Roosevelt seems to whisper to me 'A person can hurt you as much as you allow to.'

That's right?! What do they know about me? What do they know about my team? What do they know about the project? Exactly ~ NOTHING.

I shouldn't give up now more than ever. Only a few more strides and we're there. I shouldn't let go of the wheel. 'Coz these times are what defines a true Project Manager'.