土曜日, 3月 11, 2006
Today It Got Better
My books arrived today. I'm starting to get First Day Of School Jitters! Yup, yup, it's back to school for me. This Monday is orientation day.
Since this weekend I'm handicapped to go and snowboard, I spent most of my day lying in bed. What a blessing in disguise and a treat for my tired body.
Tonight I plan to do something I've not yet done this year ~ do a complete housekeeping!
Winter's about to end soon. I've turned off the heater for about 3 hours and opened my window to let fresh air come inside. I can't wait for spring to come.
I've picked up my 3-lb weights and have returned to Yoga.
My tailbone still hurts but now I have more flexibility. Could it be that next weeked I can return to snowboarding???
I still spent sad hours but I guess today it miraculously got better. I've decided that there was enough tears shed already the past week. It's time to bring myself back to life.
Emzi is coming back!
I'm not sure if I'm ready to shake hands though...
# posted by Unknown : 6:39 午後
金曜日, 3月 10, 2006
They say it's guaranteed that there will come a time when you have to face the music. There will come a time that you have to hear the right drumrolls. There will be a time for the deepest sighs. And then finally a time to let go. Knowing that what you hold dear isn't there anymore. Knowing that what has been, has been. Realizing that there is no one there anymore. Accepting that you have no choice but to let go.
It's a sad recognition of what is. There is a certain sadness that would probably never go away. There is a longing for the past...but you cannot beat it. There's no way that it will ever stop. Because it's not there anymore.
They said that the hardest part is seeing the distance grow between two people. They say that the hardest part is where you seem helpless to stop it. But waking up one day and seeing that everything has been empty for quite sometime has been undeniably sad...
I sigh...but I have no choice.
I must move on...one step at a time.
# posted by Unknown : 10:27 午後
木曜日, 3月 09, 2006
When Reality Bites
When reality bites foolish people such as myself surely have tons of pain killers in forms of
Fake hopes....
Denials...
Day dreams....
Senseless will to hold on ...just one more second.
Even more foolish people such as myself hangs in there....foolishly.
But let's face it...
When reality bites every day...
The anesthesia dies down...
Pain overflows...
Tears dry down....
Even the most foolish people such as myself
Finally learns....
That the reality that's biting.
Isn't really...
It was a dream...
All along...
Fake hopes....
Denials...
Day dreams....
Senseless will to hold on ...just one more second.
Even more foolish people such as myself hangs in there....foolishly.
But let's face it...
When reality bites every day...
The anesthesia dies down...
Pain overflows...
Tears dry down....
Even the most foolish people such as myself
Finally learns....
That the reality that's biting.
Isn't really...
It was a dream...
All along...
# posted by Unknown : 10:46 午後
Heavy Hat To Wear
People expect me to be light and bubbly.
People expect me to make their day bright and beautiful.
People expect me to pour some enthusiasm..and faith.
People expect me to be tough and ruly.
People expect me to speak my mind.
People don't think I also cry.
People can't imagine that I sometimes falter.
People want me to be there for them.
People longs to listen to my stories.
People see the Ate in me.
But I want to be alone for a while.
I want to sob and cry and mourn and pity myself.
I want to dwell in my sadness and cleanse my soul.
I want to be weak sometimes.
I don't care if nobody listens.
I just need time.
Space.
Welcoming arms.
When I'm ready to face the world again.
But for now...
I just want to be
The other side of me.
People expect me to make their day bright and beautiful.
People expect me to pour some enthusiasm..and faith.
People expect me to be tough and ruly.
People expect me to speak my mind.
People don't think I also cry.
People can't imagine that I sometimes falter.
People want me to be there for them.
People longs to listen to my stories.
People see the Ate in me.
But I want to be alone for a while.
I want to sob and cry and mourn and pity myself.
I want to dwell in my sadness and cleanse my soul.
I want to be weak sometimes.
I don't care if nobody listens.
I just need time.
Space.
Welcoming arms.
When I'm ready to face the world again.
But for now...
I just want to be
The other side of me.
# posted by Unknown : 11:25 午前
火曜日, 3月 07, 2006
Cure To The Brokenhearted
- Play Pops Fernandez & Joey Albert's Points of View 100x! Warning: The only guarantee is that for the first 10x, your sobs would be the only sound you and your neighbor hear! It gets better though as you 'Repeat Forever' Hahaha.
- Order an L double-stuffed crust Pizza Hut (with extra cheese toppings) and a 2-litter Pepsi. After you're thru devouring your all-meat double stuffed, look at the mirror and see yourself balooning. Guaranteed next step is to rush to the nearest gym or drug store for diet supplement. You'll be pre-occupied with losing 10 lbs that you'll forget your achy breaky heart!
- Organize parties for your friends to celebrate all the good things that come to their lives, weddings, engagements, promotions, new baby, birthdays, anniversaries, graduation, first dates, first kiss, whatever you can think of and you'll be guaranteed 3 boosters! (1) you'll be too busy that you're hypothalamus forgets to function for a moment (2) you are guaranteed less lonely nights and when you get home you'll be too drunk to think about your miseries...so you go straight to the bathtub and then all of a sudden it will dawn to you...that all your friends are having the time of their lives, why can't you? So you'll start contemplating on your misfortune and you start to cry like a baby...which is a good thing because (3) your tears wash away the pain.
- If 1-3 are not enough, drop off hints to the girl who pisses you off. Make sure she gets it that she's trying to flirt with your ex-, but never overdo it. Don't put it in her lap, just brush off the info to her nose and you'll surely piss her off and she'll start bitchin'. For a while, it's guaranteed that you'd pity yourself and you'll see your life like a soap opera. But don't fret! That's actually the idea. And now that you've accomplished that, stand tall, raise an eyebrow and shrug it off. You've already made your point...
- And if all else fails???? Go and have a facial. Have a full manicure and pedicure. Switch to a much simpler and sobber fashion. Lie low for a while. Been skipping yoga recently? Continue! Watch Legally Blonde to condition your mind. And then decide to be beautiful. Face the mirror and practice even a fake smile. You'll get used to it again. Give your smile to everyone except your ex-. Who knows, he may get back or not....you couldn't care any less. Like I said, you already made your point...and that should read as 'PERIOD'.
# posted by Unknown : 10:31 午後
月曜日, 3月 06, 2006
If I were to paint my day, this is how it would look like.
A woman standing underneath a lone tree
Her eyes absently wandering against the sad tone of the sunset
A cold wind blows through her bare feet
But she doesn't care to notice the cold that crawls under her fragile skin
She holds on to the trunk as her tears fall down her rosy cheeks
Her sulken eyes, sad and longing
It's getting darker and the sun's rays are starting to fade
And yet she stand still
Her soul sad and longing....
A woman standing underneath a lone tree
Her eyes absently wandering against the sad tone of the sunset
A cold wind blows through her bare feet
But she doesn't care to notice the cold that crawls under her fragile skin
She holds on to the trunk as her tears fall down her rosy cheeks
Her sulken eyes, sad and longing
It's getting darker and the sun's rays are starting to fade
And yet she stand still
Her soul sad and longing....
# posted by Unknown : 11:11 午後
Quotable Quote For March
"I never look back," 27-year-old Rufa Mae admits, "Life is not perfect and it will always have its disappointments. Happiness comes with loneliness. The
key is acceptance, faith in God and positivism."
# posted by Unknown : 9:31 午前
Thanks for visiting!