土曜日, 4月 23, 2005

Get well Abby


Abby, Emzi, Marla and Vek
Originally uploaded by setyr.
Got an email from Vek that Abby figured into a car accident last Friday while cruising South Superhighway. My prayers go with you, Abby. Get well soon.

And take care to all my driver girl and boy friends, OK?!

# posted by Unknown : 9:47 午後

Back in the Basket

Back in the Basket
Back in the Basket,
originally uploaded by d2digital.
D2's flicks can transform the dullest and tiniest of stuffs into something exciting and appealing such as this. Great photos captured by great photographer's eyes :)

# posted by Unknown : 9:36 午後

Ein Karem-Visitation Church scene

Ein Karem-Visitation Church scene
Ein Karem-Visitation Church scene,
originally uploaded by lolay.
Taken from Lerm's flicker photos. I'm glad she seems happy and at peace. You go girl!

# posted by Unknown : 9:32 午後

Big Trouble

I woke up this morning without the slightest clue on what the day would offer. Still sluggish and sleepy, I dragged myself out of bed to meet the Real Estata Agent. I desperately need to find my own place. I chose 3 options yesterday and decided to take an occular. First one, too small but very near the office. Second one, just right I think. Third one is cheapest and widest but the door is directly passing through the elevator's direction ~ bad feng sui. So, I went with the one in Higashi Nakano.
Around lunchtime, I decided to drop by the office to pack my things. Another remapping of our workplaces is taking place during GW and since I'll be on OB I need to pack earlier.
Shida-san (Helpdesk) was also there. We were going about our own stuffs when I heard loud knocks at the door. 'Shida-san must have forgotten his security card', I thought ('coz it happens to me all the time). So I got up and opened it for him. To my surprise (and partially horror) it was 3 strangers.
'We are from Asahi Shinbun, we want to get an interview about the big VB trouble this morning. Nobody would answer from 27th and 33rd flr.' [in Japanese]
'Asahi Shinbun?!', I'm confused. 'Nobody's here to give interview.'
'Could you see the 27th and 33rd flr?', the girl asked.
Of course I can, but I don't want to...'Wait for a while'. I shut the door and called Shida-san to talk to them.
It turned out that there's indeed problem with the latest pattern file. Oo-oh~ we're in trouble. We're in big trouble! Of course any info should be coming from MarkComm alone and so me and Shida-san waited until our PR Officer came. It was more than 1 hour of waiting and for a while, we both thought of taking the emergency exit. NHK and Reuters were also present outside.
Whew~ Good thing media here primarily respect privacy, for if not, my petrified, terrified, suprised, sleepy, sluggish and unkempt face would be all over the news.
At around 3pm I was safely back home. Too tired from the past two weeks' stresses, I fell into the deepest sleep, my first in quite a while.

# posted by Unknown : 8:58 午後

Spring flowers

I was captivated by the colors of these spring flowers in front of Ministop. I never notice these before. It's as if they just decided to bloom one day, hahaha the beauty of spring. I may have missed the cherry blossoms but I surely won't miss these.

# posted by Unknown : 2:53 午後

Reasons To Smile

What do you know, I can list down a few reasons to smile lately. My CRM-JP team has been super-cool, extra-nice folks. Sometimes a rarety but a real good-find!
My newest fave is Horigome. His smile is sometimes contagious, keeps on practicing English, a surfer, and my frequent-caller! I paused for a while to make sure I have this correct. Indeed, it was him who said of our Programme Mgr 'He looks like a Santa Claus, doesn't he !'
Next is Matsumoto-san first because he works so fast! And he has a lot of inputs. And he recently warmed my heart with this email...
"毎日遅くまでありがとうございました。クパチーノでは楽しみましょう"
Matsuhashi-san of TeleSales seems to be a serious-type. He looks a little bit worried about me but he seems a dedicated person as well. He was the first to react to my first-ever email to this team with
"英語は全然ダメなんですが、頑張ってProjectに取り組みたいと思います。よろしくお願いしま～す！"
Akimoto-san who seems to be a smart person. Honest enough to admit that our beloved TM is so relaxed, too relaxed in fact. Akimoto-san, in the middle of the video conf just blurts out, "so, how long have you been living in Japan?" Ha??!! Hahaha, It's as if saying 'Gotcha!'. He'll be flying to Munich on Monday, well I hope to see him there.
Chiba-san is probably the team's self-designated secretary. He never fails to take meeting minutes. Yahoo~ Big load off my shoulder. He said he also doesn't speak English, but just the same tries his best to contribute. In email correspondence, he's the most-interactive, reactive member, but in meetings too shy, most of the time.
Iida-san from Premium Support. Little bit cute guy whom I always accidentally kick (accidentally emphasized, ok?!) during the videocon. I've really not talked with him yet but I'll be spending time with him and Horigome-san in Sta. Cruz. Yes, we're going to have our bonding moments, courtesy of surfing and TM!
And finally Sakuma-san, the boss. I didn't expect him to be such a jolly and a really talkative person. Has lots of ideas and stories in the bag. He's like a respectable father. Someone who's so secure, something acquired through years of experience (evident in his recending hairlines hehehe).
Well, the list doesn't end there....Aizawa-san has really been very helpful driving the P-Mark, EUDB Flag project. Thank you thank you thank you!
Lanye, Blesh and Leah survived on their own for SI Code Cleanup.
Blesh taking charge of CP micro management and somehow bug fixing has become an exciting, challenging and enjoyable thing to do. Thanks to Conrad as well. It seems Orson is also being pushed to commit more. That's great!
Of course, my ever-cooperative IT Boy Nojima (whom Ken suggests I go out on date with..nahh, that's gonna be a little bit complicated..or maybe too complicated) and ISS-JP's Takahashi-san.
Life's not bad afterall...

# posted by Unknown : 12:46 午前

Something noble to do

Some people spend time helping the poor, volunteering at the home for the aged, sponsoring a street child to go to school, cleaning the park, baby sitting. But what about me? How can I help build a better place in this world? I noticed that all I do is really work. Not so noble. All I do is plan for vacation, for travel, or for long sleep. But it doesn't hold so much meaning in my life. Coz it's all about me. I wish I stop writing about myself. I wish the day would come where I'd be posting something good I do for other people. Nah, I don't do much for other people, I suppose. All I do is look at myself, see the pathetic little creature inside me, mourn over the temporary insanity of my hypothalamus. What is it really that I can do to make a difference in this world instead of bumming myself around the house like any typical couch-potato? How can I make better use of my time instead of worrying about my infected pimples? How can I better spend my money instead of drowning on clothes, clothes, clothes? I tried to serve by joining SFC. But I guess I didn't really feel the sincerity. Not theirs (SFC's) but mine. I tried to be active in Church, but I couldn't find what I'm looking for inside. I tried to be an environmentalist, even became a National President of EarthSavers Club. Yes, I care about the environment but ~.... I'm getting tired of playing Barbie. I mean, I'm sure there is more to the real essence of a woman than her fashion, right? I want to make better use of my time than spend the moments ticking away like a vacuum. I have to fill that empty space. But how?

# posted by Unknown : 12:22 午前

金曜日, 4月 22, 2005

Short-term Goals Of A Broken-hearted

I decided I will not be defeated by this. I decided I will go on. I decided I will be fab! So....here are my short-terms goals. I need to rebound.
By end of 2005Q2!
  1. Lose 5 lbs and look fab!
  2. Smile (I read somewhere that the best weapon to break-ups is the sweetest smile ever. Aimed directly at your ex-!)
  3. Find a great new place and decorate! Buy furnitures, buy huge TVs, buy more DVDs.
  4. Soak and tan myself in Boracay
  5. Visit San Francisco Gate, Fisherman's Wharf, SFO Night Life, LA, Beverly Hills, Hollywood & Disneyland!
  6. Experience German Beer Garden, See OktoberFest and go sight-seeing in Brussels
  7. Enjoy work and meet new people.
  8. Date!
  9. Date!!
  10. Date!!! (as a matter of fact, I even employ the services of Ken W as my dating agent ~ hahaha, how pathetic!)

# posted by Unknown : 11:31 午後

Someone like him

Until when do you give a damn for next time? How many times is next time? How many times does it take to arrive to 'this time'? How many times do you postpone? Tight schedule. Empty pockets. Work. It doesn't matter. It's plain and simple. If you wanna be with a person, you gotta be with that person. Period. And if you can't ~ maybe you're not supposed to be in the first place.
I've written this time and again to amuse myself, or to perhaps convince myself that the only way to be with that one right person could be an excrutiating, emotionally-draining journey. But how do you know if this person is the one? I mean really the one??? Apart from the usual tickles, the blush and gush and that extraordinary attraction (and sometimes obsession), how do you know if this person is really worth keeping? Sure you feel heaven and earth colliding, and you catches your breath away each time you are with that person, time flies so fast, life is like a fairy tale seen in the eyes of that special someone.
I always get this feeling that my life is a pile of one big b*&!s*@#%!!! Not exactly my entire life but particularly my sucking love life (or if you even call it a life). Without really knowing it, I've been a victim. And an unknowingly willing victim. It's a shame but yes, I'm shedding tears again. I find myself locked in the farthest, coldest corner of my cabinet, arms folded, head bowed down, tears falling, and so ashamed ~ I never learn. Why is that?
What do I really feel right now? Am I angry? Yes, I am. Angry at myself for always trying. Angry at him for making me want to keep on trying. I am so angry, so angry that I just wanna forget about everything, even the good times together. I am so angry that I even wish I'd erase him in my memory. I am so frustrated that I can't help but give up. I feel so lonely for the simple reason why I am staying here. I am so sad because I can't help but wish that all these would go away.
I remember the movie Someone Like You. Eddie (Hugh Jackman) told Jane that 'the right person will never make you cry.' I once thought that he's the right person. Maybe I set my hopes too high. It's funny how someone like him could hurt someone like me...Or is it not? But it really does hurt.
Maybe my biggest fault was running after he him when he walked away...
(Someone Like You)
Jane: There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.

# posted by Unknown : 9:20 午後

Mixed Races. Mixed Marriages. Illicit Affairs. And More

I had an unexpected lunchmate. His name is Talik ~ half Sri Lankan, half-Japanese. His parents are both quarter japanese, quarter so on ~ . Believe it or not, he grew up in the States and just last year decided to try his luck in his half-native land Japan.
Talik is an officemate. My friend Emiko introduced him to me. He's with Consulting SE dep't but very much interested in Programming (whew an area where I honestly don't have a bit of interest).
We talked mostly about what we do in BP dept, about English and Japanese and of course about mixed marriages. Unlike Mariah Carrey who blames her 'emotional imbalance with her mixed race', Talik doesn't seem lost and confused. The way I see it, he's a young man eager to see the world, eager to try new things and eager to inch his way into the corporate ladder.
Everytime I try to analyze it, mixed marriages seems to be a mind-boggling, super complex-arrangement and therefore a big decision to make in life. Think of all the technicalities, what language would you use? Are you going to change religion? Where will you settle? Who will give up career, life, luxury? What about children? Coming from a relationship with a foreigner, I'm absolutely positive that it's a complicated thing, with cultural differences, language barrier, aside from the usuals, love life is never a walk in the park.
Or perhaps, I'm just over-analyzing. I don't know sometimes it feels so hard. But in the end, it really boils down to being comfortable in your own skin. Whether you're a product of mixed marriages, or you are in one, what matters is you accept yourself, and you stand by your choice.
It's funny that Talik, Emiko and I got to talk about intra-office affairs in TM! Hahahaha, yes, I gather there are a lot of official and unofficial intra-office affairs.
Out of the blue, he asked me 'What do you think about getting a Jap for a bf?' I surprised myself with my instant reply 'Why not?'

# posted by Unknown : 12:46 午前

木曜日, 4月 21, 2005

McDo Happy Meal


I feel so ashamed! This past week all I talk about is work! work! work! Yes, work and nothing else but work... Shame on you Emilyana! So ok, enough is enough. I'll shift my entry and talk about McDo set meals. Yup, here in Japan, they call it 'set meal', and there's no HAPPY MEAL here. Not that Japs are not happy folks, but I guess it's advertising stuff. Anyway, though I don't really eat burgers, I would always buy set meals ~ for the pote-to (french fries!) and cora (coke). I usually let HB devour the burger hehehe.. I know it's a strange setup. But we end up both happy. His stomach full and I get to enjoy the fries and coke, I was thinking. But he finally couldn't figure out the logic and so he asked. Told him, I just enjoy the fries too much that I don't have enough enjoyment left for the burger. I know I know, I'm a strange girl sometimes. And then he went, to save money, just order the fries. Told him I couldn't do that 'coz I'm too ashamed to buy just the fries. He said it's customer's right to buy whatever he wishes to. But I said, I can't do it. I'll get the fries and he gets the burger (whether he likes it or not hahaha ~ such bossy me!). So we ended up with the same arrangement...Thinking about it alone in my room now, I really wanted to continue with this arrangement 'coz it's like buying a happy meal. Yup, sharing a meal with HB, anywhere it maybe or what ever it is, is always a HAPPY MEAL ~ Ahh, my ever mushy and hopeless romantic me ^o^ Sometimes the best things in life are the simplest of things, we often take for granted. The most important persons in our life are sometimes the ones who even by just their mere presence could spark our dullest of days and turn it into the most beautiful hue of the rainbow. All we ever really needed are given to us, and most of them are free. So why waste time? The chance to do the thing your heart absolutely desires could come only once in our lifetime. Never make haste. Remember, boring is a word for lack of imagination ;) Spice up your life with a happy meal!

# posted by Unknown : 12:40 午前

Crab Mentality

Had a rare chat chance with Uriel. After exchanging the usual updates on each other's life, we got into a conversation about our experiences working and living abroad. It's interesting to note that we both noticed that usually it's easier to work with foreigners than with fellow Pinoys. Like in my case, I have exhausted all efforts to promote a member of my team but those Pinoy managers just wouldn't allow it. It's really strange especially since the recommendation is coming directly from those people she works with. Uriel also noted the same thing in his company. Usually it's the Pinoy co-workers who would piss you off. It got me thinking there. We Pinoys keep on denying that we have crab mentality. Numerous history authors have noted it time and again, and yet the contemporary, modern Pinoy wouldn't accept it. It's not us Pinoys but those Spanish conquerors whom to blame for this misconception. Although I don't want to generalize, my experiences tell otherwise...
Still on Uriel, he told me, I'm being like Mike R, my previous boss, generous over promotions. Right, all of a sudden I remember Mike. Yes, we had lots of disagreements, we had our share of love-hate professional relationship, but think about it, he left a legacy to me. And a good one at that! What's bad to giving credit where it is due? Praises, recommendations, doing something good for someone doesn't require much effort (ok, for recommendations, it does require paper-work hahahaha!) but I think it's a good life investment, I sure wanna get to heaven someday :)
Speaking of going to heaven, I find it so annoying that an ofcmate of mine seems to find joy in mocking other people. If Shana has a BBB( Big Bad Brother In Law), he's my recent BBB (Big Black Bastos!). Here's a good reason why. Imagine yourself being new to the company and part of your regularization is training. You're assigned to a very big project. You're doing your best. Your PM tells you to attend a project-sponsored training. All seems to go well. Until that training day comes. You proceed to the conference room, anticipating new horizons to explore. You can't wait to hear the lecture. You enter the room. BBB suddenly stands up and bluntly asks 'what are you doing here? you're not in my list of attendees'. You get mesmerized. 'Excuse me, say that again? ' you wish you have the guts to say. But all you can do is stare inside the already filled room and feel ashamed. You're not welcomed. You're not wanted. Don't you even try!
~~~Excuse me! Who's training is this anyway??? If I am to put it in perspective. BBB is the intruder. My team is just courteous enough to let him sit in there! If there's someone who had more right to question, it's Conrad. For the simple reason that he's a member of the team. Read: TEAM MEMBER. In my more than 10 years in the corporate world, I have never met anybody who's as rude, as bossy, as power tripper as this Big Black Bastos!
To BBB, each has its own place in the world. Know your place. Or else I will show where you belong...Read it. Get it?!

# posted by Unknown : 12:00 午前

水曜日, 4月 20, 2005

Day's High And Low

Day's low...KC & AA making our CP life miserables. Unexpected, unwelcomed auditors. Bad timing. Bad approach. Politicing at its best.
Day's high...Formed alliance with MM vs KC & AA.
Day's low...CPW UI impl, PH-DEV under criticism.
Day's high...Cute new WebMark boss! hahahaha
Day's low...back ache, stiff neck, tired mind.
Day's high...rcvd invite to unwind and refresh in Sta Cruz. I'll go surfing! Wow ~
Day's low...Forgot important files in the office.
Day's high...Saved by HB!

# posted by Unknown : 12:09 午前

月曜日, 4月 18, 2005

New Things To Learn

I'm slowly getting in the hook and my interest have sparked again! Yes, I'm excited to learn about Sales Processes. I didn't appreciate it at first, but now I'm slowly getting the big picture. Thank God after a weekend's catch up, I can little by little see light, hahahahhaa. As I browse through the detailed information provided by my great and very cooperative team members (who happens to be all-great looking!) and with google's aid, I am somehow getting there ~. This bigger picture is turning out to be really interesting.
Everyday is a new learning experience, as a business process analyst, as a project manager *yes, it's a continuing process to perfect one's own craft and as a person who cares about the world, and as a girl who simply wants love and to be loved.

# posted by Unknown : 11:57 午後

My First Day At Work

I'd like to pretend for a moment. I'd like to exaggerate what happened today. I have all the rights to! Afterall it is officially my first day with Trend JP. I'd pretend that today, I discovered the most fascinating things about my company. (So I'd skip the fact that our HR head forgot to send me an HR orientation appointment) I received a handful of goodies (mostly anti-virus related docs), a free membership to Walt Disney Club which entitles me to a Y400 ticket discount. I learned that I have up to Y100K free commutation allowance, I got a free TM pen, the RED BOOK and my 'gold-plated' calling card!!! Not bad.
Ken W. said I should be spending the day greeting everybody with 'Hajimemashite...Yoroshiku onegaishimasu'. But that's too much wishful thinking. If only I have the luxury of time. If only.
On the other hand, I for one, have gotten that 'guts' to send my own version of IPO, which I use in business analysis, all in Japanese (and proud to say without the help of my HB!), composed a very long Japanese email and immediately got responses ~ with more detailed information. Just the way I wished it would have been.
I'll be honest enough to admit that I don't have scary or outrageous accounts of my first day at work, I mean my first official day with TMJP. But I do know that yes, I can take full control of my life, I have gone through places, climb mountains, wept rivers of tears, fell down many times before, and got hurt. But I'm still here and standing. Face to face with my new life, with my new journey. And I'm probably too old for those butterfly in my stomach-y feelings and horror stories about nosy officemates who'd usually make routine intimidating round-ups. Oh for Christ's sake, spare me ~ ^o^ hahahaha.

# posted by Unknown : 11:34 午後

Hold On For One More Day

It's those positive people like Marvin that never fails to brighten my day. When everything's gloomy and bleak, these kinds of people say the right words at the right time.
"Kakayanin natin to!" We can make it through. It's really nice to hear those words. Life's equalizers. Sure enough, we can and we will make it through.
As for me, I'm still struggling over my very heavy workload, slowly but surely, I will take charge. The control-freak in me wouldn't let these things from running over me, at least not for long. I will take this as a challenge to grow professionally and as a person. I have to prove that I am indeed worth who people think I am.
"Ooh some day somebody's gonna make you want toturn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry. Don't you know? Don't you know things can change. Things'll go your way if you hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day.? Things'll go your way. Hold on for one more day (one more day)" ~ Wilson Phillips, Hold On For One More Day.
I need not open my bank account as of the moment ~ ONE SHORT-TERM GOAL DOWN!

# posted by Unknown : 10:17 午後

日曜日, 4月 17, 2005

Guide For The Coming Week

Thoughts to guide me for the week...

On peace
"Right human relations is the only true peace." -- Alice A. Bailey

On my very unorganized and sometimes unregarded personal life
"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's finger." -- Hans Christian Anderson

On my struggling new career (reflecting on my 1st week)
"We pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure! Seek it out. Learn to love it. That may be the only way any of us will ever be free. Tom Robbins
"Before you give up hope, turn back and read the attacks that were made on Lincoln." -- Bruce Barton

On love
"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." -- Marcus Aurelius

On happiness
"If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time." -- Josh Billings

On courage
"The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper." -- Aristotle

On faith in the Lord
"Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid. [Matthew 14:27]"
---------
I DECLARE THE COMING WEEK TO BE AN EXCITING NEW BEGINNING OF MY NEW LIFE AND NEW CAREER..ALL WILL BE WELL!

# posted by Unknown : 12:16 午後

Chinese Mass Rallies Against Japan

I tried to shoo myself away from this issue. Told myself it's none of my business but every channel, every newspaper, every website is talking about it. 22,000 mass in anti-Japanese rally
I don't fully understand why they are so emotional about it, I am not trying to side with either one, but my point is, what do we get out of it? The world is full of angst, full of aggression and terrorism put so much stress in the modern world, don't we have enough in our hands already? It seems nobody is giving a damn about PEACE.

# posted by Unknown : 12:02 午後

Rush Hour and Keio Line

My temporary place requires me to take the Keio line. I heard there's an exclusive car for women in this train line. I wonder why, are people using this line still in the conservative era? The feminist in me was protesting, why such discrimination in the 21st century???? I was about to find out...
The first time I got in Meidaimae station, I was surprised, it's a crowded station. I was delighted to find out though that there's a special commuter train which would skip all 5 stations and stop directly at Shinjuku. This is a great find especially for someone like me who'd rather spend those few waiting minutes in bed. I waited for another minute. When the train arrived and I saw all those commuters stuck inside like sardines (believe me it's even worse!), I didn't know what to do. I bravely lined up as the train doors open and a mass of people got out. I prepared myself and focused only on one thing, I need to get in that train. Well, unlike in Manila where people aggressively hussle for a place inside public transpo, Japanese are more polite and mindful of the person in front. I barely got in, there was absolutely no space. The crowd is so huge that station staff push people inside to get in and allow the train doors to close. Imagine you pour sugar into a canister until you will it completely. Usually there's something else left and so you shake the canister and use your palm to flatten the sugar to make way for the remaining ones. That was how we all felt ~ the train the canister, the palm the station staff, and us the sugar. And yet, I didn't hear anybody complained.
I told myself, it could be a fluke...But after a week has passed. I am bound to change my mind. At least I got the answer as to why there's a special all-women car.

# posted by Unknown : 11:15 午前

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