金曜日, 4月 22, 2005
Someone like him
Until when do you give a damn for next time? How many times is next time? How many times does it take to arrive to 'this time'? How many times do you postpone? Tight schedule. Empty pockets. Work. It doesn't matter. It's plain and simple. If you wanna be with a person, you gotta be with that person. Period. And if you can't ~ maybe you're not supposed to be in the first place.
I've written this time and again to amuse myself, or to perhaps convince myself that the only way to be with that one right person could be an excrutiating, emotionally-draining journey. But how do you know if this person is the one? I mean really the one??? Apart from the usual tickles, the blush and gush and that extraordinary attraction (and sometimes obsession), how do you know if this person is really worth keeping? Sure you feel heaven and earth colliding, and you catches your breath away each time you are with that person, time flies so fast, life is like a fairy tale seen in the eyes of that special someone.
I always get this feeling that my life is a pile of one big b*&!s*@#%!!! Not exactly my entire life but particularly my sucking love life (or if you even call it a life). Without really knowing it, I've been a victim. And an unknowingly willing victim. It's a shame but yes, I'm shedding tears again. I find myself locked in the farthest, coldest corner of my cabinet, arms folded, head bowed down, tears falling, and so ashamed ~ I never learn. Why is that?
What do I really feel right now? Am I angry? Yes, I am. Angry at myself for always trying. Angry at him for making me want to keep on trying. I am so angry, so angry that I just wanna forget about everything, even the good times together. I am so angry that I even wish I'd erase him in my memory. I am so frustrated that I can't help but give up. I feel so lonely for the simple reason why I am staying here. I am so sad because I can't help but wish that all these would go away.
I remember the movie Someone Like You. Eddie (Hugh Jackman) told Jane that 'the right person will never make you cry.' I once thought that he's the right person. Maybe I set my hopes too high. It's funny how someone like him could hurt someone like me...Or is it not? But it really does hurt.
Maybe my biggest fault was running after he him when he walked away...
(Someone Like You)
Jane: There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they've left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there's nothing... but empty space and silence.
# posted by Unknown : 9:20 午後
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