Em's Dailies..

Is there such a thing or this is just a word invented by sentimentalists? This long and endless debate that is fast-becoming a fave topic for mini-reunion dinners with my old friends always seems to somehow manage and inject itself in a middle of any kind of conversation. [Mind you these old friends are those types of buddies that I can classify as brainy, career-oriented, successful and modern day bachelors and bachelorettes (if there is such a word)]. Aris, as our other friend Mel coined as someone with ‘identity crisis’ [read: moral inclination is still undetermined toss up between conservative or liberatedJ] said there is no such thing as spark. It is just an illusion; something that a romantic makes up in his mind.

Hmm…I disagree. Let’s put it into scientific context. Spark is generated by a friction caused by two identities. Now, If you get what I mean, how could there be friction if there is no contact? Isn’t it that spark appears due to the heat that collides between these two identities? And for spark to happen, both should have produced enough heat for spark to be visible, but if one is cold, rubbing and keeping these two bodies together in constant contact to warm each other would eventually produce spark. Relating to real-life scenarios and relationships, spark is something that strikes both people, brought about by contact, whether it’s by chance or regular contact with each other, say a chance to exchange hellos, or smile at each other in recognition or in some cases circumstances and events that brings you closer together could produce spark. Newton (or is it really him???) said that the distance between two points is infinite, thus there could be no instance when two points would be completely drawn close to each other to become one, because there is always an infinite gap in between. Again, translating into real-life scenarios and relationships, I agree. Couples have two different mindsets, different sets of values, different people. And because of these differences there is no way that any couple would be completely ‘owned’ by each other. There will always be a void somewhere. But what spark does is it bridges the void by producing something in the air. Something that is recognizable, something that is tangible to bring this two separate bodies together closer and recognize each other. But the fate of spark is directly proportional to the amount of effort these two separate identities exert to keep the spark going and chances are it could turn into flame or could just as well fade away.

As for sparks being a bi-product of an imagination of a hopeless romantic mind…..would you expect a deaf to differentiate Mozart’s from Eminem’s? And how can we even imagine sparks with different other people when we are busy making time to get to know this person, and keep in contact with this person. Let’s face it, our human bodies are not built for multi-tasking. Our body parts are designed to harmoniously co-exist not to multi-task. Literally speaking, how can we exert the same effort to start a spark with someone while we’re on another project, an ongoing spark? One has to subside, and one has to flourish, that’s the way it is, unless you’re probably Superman. But isn’t it that even Superman has only one flame, Louis Lane?

Spark is something you feel. It is recognition of that ‘chance’ to get to know a person better. Not expecting anything and not trying too hard. It is the mere appreciation that you met an interesting person, who could probably be your lover or your best friend or who could be just a fly-by, but just as well warms your heart for reasons that are very much uncertain about and frankly don’t care think of. It is acknowledging that special feeling towards a person without even knowing it. It is fate’s way of tapping your shoulders to look back at this wonderful boy who might be just the right person for you, not because he’s perfect but because he can make you feel perfect, no matter how imperfect the realities of the world is. Spark is God’s way of letting the greatest and most touching love stories begin, only if we are brave enough to recognize it.

I am neither a master of sparks nor a master of relationships but I fully believe in spark, in fate and in serendipity. And as I come to think about it, I somehow got a clear answer why HB and I are not really been doing well lately. In the beginning there was no expectation it was purely enjoying ourselves and unknowingly cultivating that spark into flame. Clearly the spark was so undeniable that before we even know it, it’s already burning. But it was obvious and then everybody started raising their expectations. It’s a lot of pressure so overwhelming and emotionally exhausting. And then consciousness started to play its part. And we had to be careful to subside the flame. Maybe we’re taking this too fast…we both thought. And for the first time, we had to be rational. But when we got in that state, we were already so at ease with each other, and we knew deep in our hearts that we couldn’t afford to lose each other, thus a sense of security.

Rationality + Sense Of Security = Mediocrity {whose lower bound is undervalue and upper bound is frustration}.

The two greatest loko-loko in the world started thinking straight and the world turned all hell. It pays to be crazy sometimes.