火曜日, 6月 28, 2005
My vacation is almost over...and I'm dead tired! Well, this was not exactly the kind of vacation I had in mind but amazingly it feels like the best vacation I took for years. I can't say 100% vacation off work, but for the first time in so many years (or perhaps in the history of my professional career), I didn't spent too much time thinking about work. I spent time with all the people who are dear to me.
On my way back here in Manila, I read in the lifestyle section of PhilStar that my Amiga Sue got married on June 19. Wow~ She's finally found someone to call her own.
Unfortunately news from most of my friends came as a rather sad refrain of a love song. Everybody's been breaking up lately. Yup, yup, it seems there's a plague, an epedemic of break ups, for different reasons. What surprised me the most was the news that R has broken up with his girl friend. And I thought they were perfect for each other. I guess I was wrong. Of course, with the news of this break up and my return, a lot of our friends are smiling again, foolishly hoping for a '2nd time around' sort of thingie. But knowing what I know now about myself, and even if my life with HB has been slowly tearing apart, I have nothing to say to them but give them the pleasure of seeing a smile on my face.
One thing that deeply saddens me is the news of my two close friends who are seriously thinking about ending their marriage. They seemed to be perfect for each other, they seem to topple all the adversities thrown at their married life. I've always felt happy for them but somehow the realities of life are just too 'real' to be ignored.
I've been thinking about my life. And about my friends' life. There's really no guarantee in this world. Change is an inevitable part of life. Sometimes I'd like to believe that maybe, just maybe there's really no such thing as 'and they live happily ever after'. My belief for romanticism seems to drift away in a limbo. It's a sad realization, but a liberating one just the same. Think about it this way, if what we have is here and now, and what we do, how we think, what we dream of, what our fears are and what makes us smile are the very thing that really matters most, then we wouldn't have to worry much about what the future brings. We just need to live for today.
I was watching The Mirror Has Two Faces the other day. I like it very much how Barbra Streisand puts it. If romantic love hurts, if it brings so much sorrow and pain and if there's no guarantee then why do we keep on hoping and dreaming and wanting it???? The answer is simple ~ it just feels f*ck@N#L^ great!
One blessing off this vacation is the closure between me and old friend. Finally we have moved on, both of us and there's no more bitterness. Maybe because the feelings not there anymore. The friendship was lost too. One thing that I've accepted over the past 2 years.
Vekie is also moving on. My sis Flor and Candy and Oggie have been restless too. Karen is really focused on what she wants to do with her life. My badminton buddies are still the same. Cheng is over her ex-. M's gonna be alone for a while. Tita My said my badminton team misses me. Francis wishes if I could only join the RCBC badminton team. ...Jenny's engaged, as well as JM. It felt great to sing again together with my co-choir. These are perks of life I left behind in exchange for my new life now. Busy Tokyo life, heart breaks, blossoming career, sometimes lonely nights, and a woman for the world...yes, that's what my life is now.
Ken asked me if I really meant to stay in Tokyo forever, I said, it depends on what will happen for the next 3 years of my colorful and well-lived life.
# posted by Unknown : 3:36 午後
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